The house is nearly empty. I sit against a wall next to the TV, which is now on the floor, because I have sold all of my furniture. I can see just about all that remains from where I sit, a few books, a bookcase that isn’t quite straight, and a few random objects I’m still trying to sell off for some spare cash. I’m in jeans and a winter coat. Florida is experiencing record lows right now, and I refuse to turn on the heat. My unemployment is only about 6 weeks away, and I’m starting to feel a bit financially insecure.
But the day is here: November 14th. Today marks 30 days of writing. I had to bend the rules on a couple days (a double post and a musical post), but I have reached the end with a new habit. Like brushing my teeth, going to bed without putting something into this blog would just feel unnatural now. This past month has shown me how simple it is to change a part of my life. Before this, I hardly put forth any of my writing. Now thousands of words (just over 15,000 from the past month) are available for the world to see. I know many are less than masterpieces, some possibly not even readable, but they exist.
After reading a wonderful film review by the Tropics of Meta, I just watched the 2004 film Sideways with Paul Giamatti and Thomas Haden Church, and, as recommended, I enjoyed it with a glass of cheap merlot. The film is about wine, and divorce, and sex, and friendship, and wild antics. But mostly, the film is about failure. It is about the failure of good intentions, the failure of relationships, and the failure of careers. Just about everything in this film seems to go wrong for our main characters. We really get a picture of two guys whom we can easily call “losers.” Habits of infidelity, alcoholism, and dependence crop up throughout the film. However, the last few moments give the viewer a sense of hope that the right inspiration can lead to a drastic change for the better. I won’t spoil it for anyone who hasn’t seen the film, but I thought the writers captured the hope that comes with new beginnings.
This is an new beginning for me. Many of the things I have collected over the past several years are gone. I am cutting ties with many with whom I had developed relationships over the past year. I am leaving behind a career for which I had prepared myself for as long as I can remember.
I’m not sure how this post is about commitment. Maybe I will continue to post daily, maybe I won’t. Maybe I’ll find a new 30 day challenge to make a habit out of. I like the idea of taking a picture every day. That sounds fun. Maybe I’ll try to meet someone new every day. That will probably work best when I’m out traveling the world. Maybe I’ll try to meet someone new and take a picture with them. I like that idea. We’ll see what happens.
So there it is. 30 days.
And we’ll end with that sort of “oh” feeling.